Humifidy

Humifidy. Yes, I know it’s not a real word, except within my immediate family. The word was invented quite by accident during a trip to the Los Angeles area some 25 years ago with my brother and his wife. Seems I was complaining about the dampness of the sea air and said something along the lines of “...all this humifidy!” Becky never let me forget that little blooper. Lately the word has been stuck in my head.

Over the past couple of months we have experienced unusually wet, humid conditions better suited to the Pacific Northwest than the high desert. Most Coloradoans are well adapted to our climate and can tolerate the summer heat, for the most part, because it's what we lovingly refer to as “a dry heat.” But when the weather switches around on us, like this spring, some of us old-timers get a little cranky.

Recently I have been returning from my morning walks with hair that reminds me of Gilda Radner’s Saturday Night Live character, Roseanne Roseannadanna. Normally my hair is straight. Nowadays, after less than an hour in the Colorado early morning air, it’s curly, wavy, frizzy, and sticks right out to the side. I realize the mass of gray hair reproducing at an alarming rate among my normal locks contributes to some of the thick, frizzy texture. The rest is the work of humifidy.

Yesterday after walking, I jumped in the shower then proceeded to get ready for work. It was a blur of normal workday morning activities: making breakfast, packing a lunch, loading the dishwasher, etc. As I was brushing my teeth, I noticed my forehead beading up with sweat. Next thing you know, the sweat started running down both sides of my face, much like what happens during a hard day’s labor in the yard. Brushing your teeth, with an electric toothbrush no less, is not exactly an aerobic activity. It must have been caused by humifidy. So I checked online and discovered the humifidy was a whopping 82%!

Sometime during July is when we have our Colorado "monsoon" season. It typically offers a welcome relief from the perpetual dry weather and unrelenting heat. We really look forward to those afternoon thunderstorms. This year I find myself looking forward to some dryness as a welcome relief from the perpetual rainstorms and unrelenting humifidy.

Until the dry air returns, I will be reminiscing about our visit a year ago last April to the desert southwest, a place where humifidy in the single digits is common and where you might encounter lizards baking themselves in the scorching hot desert sun.

A friend sent me an email a while back entitled, “You know you’re from Colorado if…” For the sake of brevity, I’ll just quote the relevant bits about humifidy.

You know you’re from Colorado if—

• “Humid” is anything over 25%
• You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels “sticky”

Funny, I don’t remember moving to another location on the planet.