Burrito Dreaming

4:38 AM: Awakened by a vivid dream in which I spent a ridiculous amount of time wending my way through an elaborate build-your-own-burrito buffet, frustrated in the end with an empty plate owing to the fact that I never found the essential building block: a tortilla. Sadly, I am a hopeless dork... even in my dreams.

Least Favorite Words

In no particular order, except for kiddo. It's definitely nails-on-a-chalkboard-first for me. Don't ever call me kiddo. Thank you.

Kiddo
Actually
Literally
Walkability
Moist
Phlegm
Incentivize (or just about anything with "ize" tacked to the end)
Syringe
Fondle
Soiled
Recoup
Panties
Word. (when used as a reply or a statement)
Bromance
Hubby
Wonk
Newbie
Delish
Uber
Chillax
Webinar
Awesome
Vacillate
Fungible
Retard

And yours would be?

Dog Days

Two vehicles pull into the lot at the same time. A champagne-colored Nissan spits out a woman accompanied by two eager white poodles. "Wait, wait, just a minute, hold on now!" she barks at her wiggling charges while juggling leashes, poop bags, keys, and a fanny pack.

A few spots over is a van with Missouri plates. The driver lights a cigarette, opens the hatchback and says calmly, quietly, in a matter-of-fact voice: "There will be no eating of other dogs." An elderly German Shepherd hops out of the van.

Let the games begin.

(at Majestic View Nature Center, Arvada)

Missouri Hash

Missouri Hash

1 medium onion, chopped
1 lb. ground beef
1 large can crushed tomatoes (about 3 cups)
1 cup uncooked rice (I use Minute Rice)
1 packet chili seasoning
1/4 cup chopped pickled jalapenos --OR--
     1 small can diced green chilis (if you prefer a milder flavor)
1 cup grated cheddar cheese

Brown ground beef and onion together, drain. Stir in the chili seasoning and cook a couple minutes longer.

In 8x12 greased baking dish, stir together the tomatoes, rice and jalapenos (or chilis), then add the ground beef mixture.

Cover with foil and bake at 375F for 35 minutes.

Remove foil and sprinkle cheese on top during the last 10 minutes of baking.

Optional: Serve with salad and rolls.

=== MAKES 6 SERVINGS ===

A Comedy of Errors

Photo courtesy of the Internet (not my license plate)

Monday evening I met a friend of mine for dinner. On our way out, we stopped near the back of my car to chat. For some reason, Terri was drawn to my license plate and read the number/letter combination out loud. Then she said, "Do you realize that your plates expired in September?"

What? No! That can't be right. I looked down and yes indeed, even at night the evidence was plain as day. September 2013. Here it is Presidents Day 2014, and I'm cruising around with expired plates.

I drove home, sheepishly, carefully, certain that now--after nearly five months driving around as a scofflaw--I was jinxed simply by knowing.

Once home, I dug through my paperwork to try and figure out how the hell this happened. I am meticulous and careful about such things. This was a near impossibility.

Nope. It had not been paid. We moved a little over a year ago. Somehow Dave's license plates had been renewed in that time but what happened to mine? No matter, it was time to deal with the problem.

Dave volunteered to go to DMV first thing Tuesday morning. I wasn't sure if it would be a problem, since his name was not on the registration. He took my registration and the checkbook.

Apparently the first day after a holiday is THE worst day to visit DMV. Dave later reported around 75 people were waiting to be served. He stood around for a bit, talking to another fellow in the queue, explaining our circumstances. That man told Dave it was unlikely they would allow him to renew the plates without my driver's license. Dave left.

I was not at all comfortable leaving my driver's license with Dave so he could return the next day. That would surely be flirting with disaster. Expired plates + missing driver's license = flashing cop car lights in the rear view mirror. I would do it myself, first thing Thursday morning.

But wait, while I'm there, why don't I see about adding Dave's name to the title? That way there could be no question in the future. I found the title, safely stashed away in our security box.

Turns out Dave's name was already on the title. I looked again at the registration. Both our names were there. Apparently neither of us were observant enough to notice this little detail.

Oh well, I still had to take my punishment. There is a hefty penalty for allowing your plates to expire. Plus, who knows if one of the notoriously grouchy DMV workers would give me a hard time for being incompetent. Nah, they would just want the money.

I looked online to make sure I had everything necessary to renew in person. Proof of insurance! I located the insurance certificate, lounging quietly in the glovebox, noted its expiration date was March and left it on the table with all the DMV paraphernalia.

Thursday morning dawns, time to get organized. I rechecked to make sure I had everything. Then I looked again at the insurance certificate. Expiration date: 3/30/13. Oh good lord, I tell myself, please come to terms with the fact that it's 2014 already.

When I signed up for electronic notifications from our insurance company, apparently that also applied to the evidence of insurance certificate. I logged online and printed a copy.

Off to DMV. Thankfully only a handful of people were inside. I waited less than five minutes for service, explained the situation to the no-nonsense clerk as she changed our address in the computer. When I slid the insurance certificate her way, she told me that her happy little computer already confirmed that we had insurance. No need for a paper copy.

I paid the $100 incompetence tax, plus an additional $102.35 retroactive ownership tax so that DMV could collect the money they missed out on from September to February. My new expiration date is February 2015.

Never again.

(Gratuitous photo of my car, isn't she a beauty?)

Floretta's Shepherd's Pie

Mom lived for many years in a New Jersey neighborhood filled with Italian families. Italian food was definitely her favorite, and she often transformed everyday recipes to suit her preference. This was one of mom and dad's favorites.

(She didn't give it the name, I did, after she was gone.)

Floretta's Shepherd's Pie

1 lb. ground beef
4 large potatoes
2 cans (14 oz. each) French-cut green beans, drained
1 can (15 oz.) tomato sauce
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1 tbsp. flour
1 tbsp. oregano
1 tsp. parsley
Salt and pepper, to taste
Garlic salt or powder, to taste, or one pressed garlic clove

Prepare mashed potatoes according to your normal method.

In medium skillet, brown the ground beef; drain. Add onion, garlic salt/powder (or pressed garlic clove), salt and pepper to the meat, cook for about 2 minutes more. Pour the can of tomato sauce into the meat, add oregano and parsley, then stir in the flour. Cook until thickened.

Spread the meat and sauce mixture in the bottom of an 8 x 12-inch greased baking dish. Then spread the uncooked green beans in a layer over the meat. Finally, top with mounds of the mashed potatoes over the green beans, leaving little peaks on the tops of the potatoes.

Bake in a 375°F oven for 15-20 minutes, or until the tips of the mashed potatoes begin to turn a golden color.

~ Optional: Sprinkle a little bit of cheese on top during the last 5 minutes of baking. Serve with rolls and butter.

=== MAKES 6 SERVINGS ===